My tears for new Christian journey



I cried in the Christian journey while Bible Reading, Praying, Worshiping and Sermon Watching since childhood with protestant, catholic and Pentecostals.

My country Nepal has Hindus 80% and Buddhist 10% and other religions 10%. Christian population is only about 0.45%.

With troubles already looming Nepalese Christians from the Hindu fronts with persecution, I grew up reading many western and North Asian Christian books bought with pocket money. Never missed tele-evangelists in TV, YouTube and websites.

I had already forsaken everything for Christianity-career, family, education—LIFE

When all these things were passionately done, little did I know about the Christian world, history and reality? The dirty sides of what the world called Christian Religion.


It all started with voracious reading of the Bible until I started developing doubts on Paul for his self claim for Apostleship and difference between his conversion stories with Luke’s writing along with contradicting writing of Paul of food offered to idols,  Wasn’t happy when preachers took his name more than GOD and CHRIST. More paul/

That led me to search history of Christianity starting from Rome, after knowing the Roman authorized canonized Bible, I got even more worried. They had in-fact distorted some of portions of Bible and translation were inaccurate.

Persecution of Jews by Catholics partnering with Hitler was even more horrifying along with priest being above state. Dangerous politics and it has been same to this day.

I had to learn Hebrew to read the genuine Torah and other books including Yashar, Jubilee etc. It’s indeed true our translated version cannot incorporate original meanings. Many ancient writings had both valid and invalid writings like New Testament letters.

Hebrew and Greek are fluid language with numerical, appearance and meaning of letters. Only expert Hebrew speakers and coders could code the Bible. Coding and decoding is important than translating.

I was sad that my teachers and leaders missed to report the importance of Hebrew Bible. I regretted that I was being fed with milk but not with wine, meat, honey and solid food from the Bible.

Discovered there were many church denominations that even did not care about genuine instruction from the Bible. Christianity had been commercialized than spiritualized. Many Christians did not care much of Godly life.

The Christian festivals were nothing but mere work of man and artificial pagan ritual amalgamations. Not to mention the false, heresy, cults and false CHRIST’s.

Capitalism, Marxism, Prosperity Gospels, Denominations

The drive of Europeans to rule over the world through commerce and politics if not through battles has been troubling the true Christianity. Be it Democracy-the neo capitalism politics or Marxism, both are against Christianity.

The Church has knowingly and unknowingly adopted the capitalism and Marxism. Since the time US president Henry Truman divided the world into developed and non-developed in 1949, many theories came to uplift the underdeveloped countries.  Those were Human Capital Theory, Idea of Poverty Alleviation of Basic Needs, Idea of Self Help Development, Sustainable Development, Idea of Social Development, Idea of Structural Adjustment Program, Idea of Human Development’ and others.

Many prosperity speakers and denominations (Protestants in particular) are merely practicing these theories knowingly and unknowingly.

NEW Journey with tears

After reflecting all these things I thought “Am I running the race with vain? Is it worth to work so hard for Christianity? Was I just reading duplicate BIBLEs.

Up until now, I was being fed and taught duplicate Christianity and Christian journey was far from satisfaction.

Ya I cried, when I discovered people were misusing Christianity and GOD’s name instead of GOD using them. Lot of deception and corruption is taking place in the name of  GOD, church and heaven.  Christianity is mere joke for the world and false Christians.

These experiences taught me, Christian journey could be dangerous if we don’t personally seek TRUTH. People can teach us anything based on their belief, traditions,theology and denominations. Christ indeed shook the world and HE is the most discussed and followed personality.

By faith MOSES forsook Egypt, not fearing wrath of king, for he endured as seeing HIM who is INVISIBLE|| Hebrews 11:27


Ya, it’s painful to start a tearful new journey from O meters. Now that I have found the TRUTH, it has set me free. I have thrown books and stopped listening to Tele-evangelist. I am a new Christian now, walking through the narrow gate with cross in my shoulders.

I am not protestant, catholic or other denominational representative, but just a Christ’s servant. I carefully read, hear and watch Bible sermons with Christ’s rationality and CROSS. These days I try to emulate Christ and listen to HIM and those who gather with Christ. I endeavor to live for the risen SON, not for Christianity of the world.

This world is about Christianity and non-Christianity, nothing else. Compromised and hybrid Christianity is nothing more than Non-Christianity.

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